made up headlines or spreading misinformation on the internet on purpose – by Clarice Lima

the nephew’s second brother of the prime minister was photographed crying near the clothes section of a department store accoutred with stolen goods. security dragged him in tears as he reassured, “dad allowed me”.

minty age appropriate gums are the one thing separating countless distressed teens around the globe from a nervous breakdown, scholar reports declare. “it is not even that serious”, a teenager descaled, “it is not like i am the only one with a sense of approaching doom.” the candy company announced earlier today the drop of a new line for those feeling blurred feelings of tediousness. 

avant garde metallic corsets are the current trend among celebrities and media influencers. “asphyxiation turned into desire”, the fashion’s pioneer explained, “worldly vain and pain but make it special”.

the most majestic accent of modern times was chosen by an internet pool as the google translator voice. “it converts the most unsatisfactory sounds into works of art” was the prevailing response.

a tiny feelings catalogue, named “don’t feel it, think it”, was elaborated by an american university. “it will serve as a tool to better enhance the prickly communication of the digital age”, the lead scientist guaranteed. “this will desensitize our emotional perceptions even more. how can you expect to encompass the entirety of human emotion in five words?” the opposition says, though no one is listening.

god was found on the depths of earth, hidden in a mole hole. “i was scared” he stated. he was not able to report the cause. 

Clarice Lima (she/they) is a bilingual writer and literature undergraduate from Brazil. With a lifelong for stories and all things warm, they mostly want to be kind. Her words can be found published or forthcoming in The Lumiere Review, small leaf press, antinarrative zine, and more that you can find at claricelima.carrd.