1.
You barely survive high school. As a victim of bad acne, your popularity was nil. You want to go to art school to study what you feel is your calling, but your guidance councilor and parents are pressing you to go to community college. Though you can’t afford either.
If you choose community college, go to 2.
If you choose art school, go to 3.
If you choose work, go to 4.
2.
Though your classes are long and boring, you do well in college. You receive your business degree with honors.
If you look for work, go to 5.
If you go for your masters, go to 6.
3.
Art school is the best time of your life. You make lots of new friends and hone your artistic skills. You receive a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree.
If you look for work, go to 7.
If you go for your masters, go to 8.
4.
The best job you can get is as a cashier at the local supermarket. You work here for years, making very little money, and still living at your parents’ house.
If you get married, go to 9.
If you go back to school, go to 2.
5.
You get a descent job at some corporate office. You make enough money to move out of your parents’ house. Things are going great, you even have a retirement plan.
If you get married, go to 9.
If you choose to remain single, go to 10.
6.
After years of hard work, you receive a masters in business. Having spent your life so far in school, you’re hesitant to enter the “real world”.
If you want to get a job, go to 5.
If you want to teach, go to 11.
7.
It’s tough to find work with an art degree and those school loan payments hang over you like the Sword of Damocles.
If you take the first job that’s offered, go to 4.
If you go back for your masters, go to 6.
8.
While studying for your masters in art, you run out of money. Your family will only help you financially if you get what they think is a “worthwhile” degree.
If you change to the business department, go to 6.
If you drop out and look for work, go to 4.
9.
You get married and move into a nice house with your partner.
If you want children, go to 12.
If you don’t want children, go to 13.
10.
You remain single for the rest of your days.
Go to 14.
11.
You get a job teaching at the local high school. It’s less rewarding than you thought it would be, but it’s a job. Maybe it’s time to focus on dating.
If you get married, go to 9.
If you choose to remain single, go to 10.
12.
You have children. Time flies by as you watch them grow. Eventually they all move out of your house. By that time, you realize your spouse is no longer desirable.
If you divorce, go to 10.
If you stay married, go to 13.
13.
Your spouse dies.
Go to 10.
14.
And then you die.
The end.
Tom Misuraca (he/him) studied Writing at Emerson College in his hometown of Boston before moving to Los Angeles. Over 120 of his short stories and two novels have been published. His story, Giving Up The Ghosts, was published in Constellations Journal, and nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2021. His work has recently appeared in Literature Today, The Unconventional Courier and The Cafe Irreal. He is also a multi-award winning playwright with over 150 short plays and 13 full-lengths produced globally. His musical, Geeks!, was produced Off-Broadway in May 2019.