Prep —
Borrow (or download) a copy of the iconic nursery rhyme, What Are Little Girls Made Of*.
Recite the lyrics out loud.
Remove extraneous words.
Turn the radio on.
Curse once.
Curse twice.
Aprons on, fully tied.
Dish rag, tucked in belt or bosom, freshly bleached.
Cut ties to home.
Ingredients —
3 lbs. ground beef and veal (no need to reveal the fat content) (no bones to pick)
5 egg whites (to compensate for the meat’s dry humor, no yolk needed)
½ cup water (to purify, don’t ask why)
Salt
Pepper
Flakes (not yours, theirs)
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Face powder (nose and cheekbones)
No snips
No snails
No puppy dog tails
Bitter herbs (One. Two. Three. Four. No questions asked or needed)
Sugar and any favored spices (they will boil off)
A Matza meal and Italian bread crumb blend to hold everything (familial) together (a nod to a Yiddish heritage and attempt to keep a language and a traditional way of living simmering)
Steps —
Stretch lyrics like Baklava layers.
Perform leg squats.
Mix all ingredients (except for the Matza meal) in a large bowl (non-breakable, please; there are already enough chores).
Add Matza meal.
Apply self-talk that does not conform.
Form into nice balls (sized appropriately, discretion applied).
Put into a homemade sauce (place gently; for composition ratios, see below).
Cook over high heat (watch tempers boil as the meatballs form).
Toss periodically to avoid burns.
Reduce heat to medium (turn the dial slowly).
Watch the sauce boil. More sour than sweet. Doctors’ orders.
Sauce —
2 bottles ketchup** (regular size) (standard female)
2 (times 2) bottles ginger all (regular size) (standard female) (more sour, less sweet)
Notes
* See: https://makingmusicfun.net/htm/f_mmf_music_library_songbook/what-are-little-girls-made-of-rhyme
** Heinz (made only with sweet, juicy, red ripe tomatoes) preferred
Jen Schneider is a community college educator who lives, works, and writes in small spaces throughout Pennsylvania. She served as the 2022 Montgomery County (PA) Poet Laureate. Her most recent collections — EVENINGS WALKS: A Collection of Recollections (Ethel) and Months, Moments, & Mileage (Alien Buddha) are now available. On (Pantry) Stock & (Kitchen) Timers (Querencia Press) is forthcoming.