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<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "main" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/00-Main-Menu.mp3">><<audio "main" play>> Thank you for contacting The Outer Planes. We will be with you shortly. If you want to make an appointment for Clairvoyant Services, or if you have already done so and wish to reschedule, please select [[1|1 -Clairvoyant Services]]. If you already have a Representative and wish to reach them directly, please select [[2|2 - List of Representatives]]. If you are Trying to Take Over the World, please select [[3|3 -Trying to Take Over the World]]. If you feel that the madness is becoming too distracting, please select [[9|9 - Descent into Madness]].

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "3" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/3-Trying-to-Take-Over-the-World.mp3">><<audio "3" play>>You are 4,327,015,001 in the queue Trying to Take Over the World. There will be a two-hundred-thousand-thirty-four year wait. You may: - choose to stay on the line to wait - select [[2|2 - List of Representatives]] to contact Representative Veni-Vidi-Vici directly, or - select [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Menu and choose another option.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "2" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2-List-of-Reps.mp3">><<audio "2" play>>Please refer to this list of Representative and select the appropriate one accordingly. If you do not already have a Representative, please select [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu. [[Al Zedoth|Out of office]] [[Ban’le’shah|Out of office]] [[Bob|Bob]] [[cryp-hotep|Out of office]] [[DeAth|DeAth]] [[Fen’raZauden|Out of office]] [[Helvetica|Helvetica]] [[irashiva|Out of office]] [[KHAN!|Out of office]] [[ManyGlish|Out of office]] [[Nevermore|Nevermore]] [[paca-zulah|Out of office]] [[Qik|Out of office]] [[RaNasha’vara’tiki|Out of office]] [[SSsSsHhhhhh]] [[Takana|Out of office]] [[Veni-Vidi-Vici]] [[whowhatwherewhenwhy]] [[zed|Out of office]]

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "1" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/1-Clairvoyant-Services.mp3">><<audio "1" play>>Thank you for your interest in clairvoyant services. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. We now offer Past, Present, and Future Clairvoyance. If you wish to change the Past, please select [[4|4- past Clairvoyant Services]]. If you want to utilize Present Clairvoyant Services to expand your limited perception beyond your own personal experiences, please select [[5|5 -Present Clairvoyant Services]]. If you want to predict and/or change the Future, please select [[6|6 - Future Clairvoyant Services]]. If you have reached Clairvoyant Services in error, please select [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "9" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/9-Madness.mp3">><<audio "9" play>> We are sorry that you are experiencing Difficulties in Understanding or Translation, or Descent into Madness while navigating The Outer Planes. We are aware that many of the powers and perceptions offered through our services exist beyond the limitations of human understanding and can result in added anxiety, stress, and madness. We take these complaints very seriously and make sure to address each and every one directly. Please wait while we connect you to [[0|Operator]] and the Operator.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "5" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/5-Present-Clairvoyant-Services.mp3">><<audio "5" play>>Thank you for choosing Present Clairvoyant Services to expand your limited perception beyond your own personal experiences. whowhatwherewhenwhy handles all of our Present Clairvoyant Services needs, so please direct any questions at them. The act of engaging with knowledge outside of one’s own understanding is inevitably maddeningwhether or not that was your intent, as the human brain is unable to process this many conflicting data inputs, so we will now redirect you to [[9|9 - Descent into Madness]].

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "4" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/4-Past-Clairvoyant-Services.mp3">><<audio "4" play>>We at The Outer Planes are proud to introduce our new Past Clairvoyant Services. You may engage in these services in order to change your Past. If you want to change something specific within your own personal history, please select [[7|7- Personal History]]. If you want to change something that is not a part of your personal history, please select [[8|8 - Not personal history]].

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "6" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/6-Future-Clairvoyant-Services.mp3">><<audio "6" play>>Thank you for utilizing The Outer Plane’s Future Clairvoyant Services. This is our longest-running offering of over five-hundred-million years and counting. To predict the Future, you must first increase your knowledge of things outside of your awareness. We will refer to Present Clairvoyant Services at [[5|5 -Present Clairvoyant Services]] so we may assist you towards this end. If you wish to change the Future, this option has been reclassified under Trying to Take Over the World, so select [[3|3 -Trying to Take Over the World]].

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "7" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/7-Changing-Your-Own-Personal-History.mp3">><<audio "7" play>>We at The Outer Planes are happy to assist you with changing your own personal history. In order to do so, you will need to speak directly with your personal Representative and open a specific case. Please select [[2|2 - List of Representatives]] to the List of Representatives.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "8" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/8-Changing-History-Outside-of-Your-Own.mp3">><<audio "8" play>>In order to change things outside of your personal history, you must first increase your knowledge of things outside of your awareness. We will refer you to Present Clairvoyant Services at [[5|5 -Present Clairvoyant Services]] so we may assist you towards this end.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "op" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/0-Operator.mp3">><<audio "op" play>>“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.” - H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu [[Begin again|Main menu]]

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "ooo" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.0-Generic-Representative-Recording.mp3">><<audio "ooo" play>>I am sorry, but your Representative is out of the office. Please press [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu. Or stay on the line to leave a message after the beep. If there is no beep, then your Representative’s Inbox is currently already full and you will need to press [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu to select another option.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "bob" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.1-Bob.mp3">><<audio "bob" play>>Bob has left The Outer Planes to work for our rival service The Abyss. Those clients who have attempted to follow Bob to the Abyss will find that they cannot migrate their awareness, as it is the property of The Outer Planes, and their accounts have been frozen. They will be redirected to [[Nevermore|Nevermore]] for evaluation. Any clients who did not attempt to follow Bob to The Abyss should select [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu and seek another Representative.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "nev" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.4-Nevermore.mp3">><<audio "nev" play>>Nevermore is no longer with The Outer Planes. Select [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu so you may select another option.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "death" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.2-DeAth.mp3">><<audio "death" play>>DeAth is no longer serving living clients. Any such living beings who have been displaced have been redirected to [[Nevermore|Nevermore]].

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "helv" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.3-Helvetica-1.mp3">><<audio "helv" play>>Helvetica is busy reformatting time and space and cannot address you at the moment. Please press [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu or stay on the line to leave a message after the beep. If there is no beep, then your Representative’s Inbox is currently already full and you will be returned to the [[Main Menu|Main menu]] to select another option.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "ssh" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.5-SSsSsHhhhhh.mp3">><<audio "ssh" play>>SSsSsHhhhhh has entered a multi-eon hibernation. All of their current clients are being redirected to [[Nevermore]].

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "ven" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.6-VeniVidiVici.mp3">><<audio "ven" play>>All those who are represented by Veni-Vidi-Vici are assumed to be Trying to Take Over the World and will be redirected to [[3|3 -Trying to Take Over the World]] directly.

<<audio ":playing" fadeout>><<cacheaudio "who" "https://voidspacezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2.7-whowhatwherewhenwhy.mp3">><<audio "who" play>>whowhatwherewhenwhy is currently on another call to determine specifically how another disturbance to the time/space continuum has occurred. Please select [[*|Main menu]] to return to the Main Menu.